There are times when we feel unsure of ourselves and don’t know how to overcome this feeling. Even confident people often feel this way. Maybe someone says something negative about you, or show their anger against you, or they prove their power and try to bring you down. We’ve all been there, so you’re definitely not alone. There’s always someone who respects you, loves you and hates you. That’s a harsh truth of life. Regardless of how difficult the situation you are in, you shouldn’t lose faith in yourself. You can find positive opportunities in any negative situation and turn any of your flaws into one of your best traits. Here’s how to survive the times when you’re unsure of yourself:
1. Don’t try to boost your self-esteem online
On the one hand, it’s a great idea to share your feelings and pictures on social media. It’s tempting to share about your struggles in order to get that support you crave. On the other hand, you can completely ruin your self-esteem since there are so many toxic people who post rude comments and belittle others. Moreover, while some may offer inspiring words, others may spread gossips. You don’t want your coworkers to know about your problems the next morning in the office, right? Instead, surround yourself with positive people or spend some time alone.
2. Don’t criticize yourself
Sometimes it’s useful, but not when you feel unsure of yourself. Just because your friends know 5 foreign languages and travel around the world, your sibling makes more money than you, and your coworker has 3 kids while you have none, doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It certainly doesn’t mean that you should hide from others when you have nothing to brag about. You are unique, which means you live your own life. You do what you like to do. Yes, maybe you have no diploma, no house or no car, but you have a kind heart and you are alive. Be proud of yourself.
3. Stay strong
If you have trouble achieving your goals, don’t give up. You are stronger than you think. Sometimes people have to go through difficulties, failures and rejections in order to become wiser, stronger and happier. If you feel like someone is trying to prevent you from reaching a goal, stop seeing them for a while. March to your own beat and you will overcome any challenge you will face in your life.
4. Stop thinking ‘the worst’
Many of us tend to see downsides where others don’t. We notice flaws that others don’t. We criticize ourselves when others compliment us. Expecting the worst each day isn’t the best way to avoid feeling disappointed down the road. The sad truth is when you expect ‘the worst,’ ‘the worst’ can happen any minute. It’s a negative thinking trap that you should shy away from. Positive thinking will help you feel sure of yourself in any difficult situation.
5. You deserve better
If you start feeling unsure of yourself after a breakup, don’t let negative thoughts plague you no matter what your partner says. Ignore their negative words. You deserve a better partner. Maktub. This is what my Arabic friend told me when I was trying to cope with a very painful breakup. You can’t run away from your fate. If you two broke up, this means you were not meant to be together. Accept this fact, smile and continue to live your ordinary or extraordinary life. Breakup isn’t the end of the world and isn’t death. I don’t see any reasons to cry or blame yourself for not saving those relationship.
6. Eliminate weak words from your life
Weak words will never boost your self-esteem. Using words and phrases like, “I’m not capable of,” “I can’t,” “I’m not sure,” “I’m miserable,” or “I’ll try” will never make you sounding self-assured. Those words means nothing. You are not a weak person. You create this image in order to avoid failures, mistakes, other people’s criticism or gossips. Add more strong words in your life and you will see how others will start treating you. Instead of saying “I’ll try to accomplish this task” say “I’ll certainly do it.” You can do it. Just believe in yourself. Others will believe in you too.
7. Stop seeking approval from others
When you are waiting for someone to approve your choice, to help you or to do something instead of you, you diminish your self-esteem and your own opinion. You can’t please everyone. Don’t look for approval from others. If you want to do something, be sure that you will do it. If your inner voice is poisoning your soul, stop it. Tell yourself, “I’m strong and smart enough to take my own decisions and cope with any problem without anyone’s approval.” Say it, and meant it.
I hate to say it, but your unsureness makes you look miserable. Boost your self-esteem by thinking about all the good things you’ve done for people, animals and the whole world. Forget about all the bad you did. Forget about those negative gossips about you. Value yourself and your life. It’s very short, by the way. You don’t know when your day will be the last.