Winter is a truly romantic time of year. From the magic of Christmas to the excitement of Valentine’s Day, it is easy to get swept away with a new romance.
And if you have found a keeper then great, long may it continue. But I am writing this as someone who kissed a lot of frogs before I found a prince. And having found myself with a frog many times; rather than admit they were not good for me, I would hang on, convincing myself that they were just ‘misunderstood.’
If you are with the wrong person but want so badly for them to be the right one, it is not uncommon to find yourself making many allowances for them.
At first, it may be the small things. They might be short-tempered with you or forget an important date. But over time and not addressed, these things often snowball into more serious relationship misdemeanors.
The bottom line
I believe the bottom line here is when your partner shows you outright disrespect. When it becomes clear that his needs are more important than yours. When it is not teamwork, but your burden to carry.
When you start to realize that you are not really happy anymore. And most alarmingly, when you start to feel as though you need his permission. As hard as it is to admit to yourself; he has been walking all over you.
While the most difficult to swallow part of that is the fact that you allowed him to do so, conversely, it is also the best part. Because just as you allowed it, you can disallow it from this moment forward.
It is a choice we all must make from time to time. To stay and be used, or walk away for your own sake. And I know it is not easy to just walk away. Emotional, practical and financial ties make the decision so much harder than simply ‘stay or go.’ But nonetheless, the power lies within you.
It is about time
Personally, when I have been making these ‘stay or go’ decisions myself, it always boils down to one factor for me. And that is time. We can earn more money, we can acquire more material possessions, and we can have new experiences. However, time is a truly finite resource. We can’t make more time.
What time we do have should be spent happily, with as few regrets as possible. So when I have been with the wrong person, kidding myself that they were right, and subsequently being walked over, at some point my eyes get opened. I think about the time I have wasted trying to turn a wrong into right.
Of course, I can’t reclaim the time I already spent, but I can ensure that I protect my future time by walking away from an unhappy relationship. When you have been walked over by someone very close to you, it can feel very oppressive and restricting. Suddenly getting your freedom back is an amazing rush.
So I encourage you to protect your time, protect your happiness, and do not let him walk all over you. We accept the love we think we deserve. So know that you deserve respect, and love yourself enough to be strong.