The Truth about Dating a 20-Something Guy When You Are 30-Something


Dating someone who is younger than you is an invigorating, sometimes mind-bending experience. You are both brought back to your “younger years” while discovering the more responsible adult facets of yourself. Every day with him is sure to be a test of patience and understanding, but no relationship is as fulfilling as when where you date a 20-something guy when you are a 30-something gal.

It should not be cringe-worthy

The first important thing is that as long as he is in his twenties, neither of your ages should matter. Such an age-gap, whether it is by 4 years or 10 years, should not be cringe-worthy. You are both adults, albeit adults from slightly differing generations.

Sometimes your views are going to be different, because, well, you grew up in different times. This is natural. This is okay. Once you have both come to terms with that, you need to understand a few more things.

Communication is key

I do not care if you are one year apart or twenty years apart, when you are in a relationship, you need to speak to one another. So if he is slightly more addicted to his phone than you are, or you find yourself agitated by his slight immaturity, talk about it. Also take a moment to remember how much of a mess you were back in your early twenties.

His values now will reflect what yours had been back then. So if he goes out and drops a couple hundred on a new gaming system, do not get furious. Think back to those times in college when you put yourself in debt at Victoria Secret and Sephora. If you grew out of it, so can he.

More: 5 Things My Boyfriend Taught Me about a Relationship

Commitment is frightening

Maybe you are one of those people who all throughout high school and their twenties wanted nothing to do with children or an honest long relationship. But now that you are in your thirties, your frame of mind has shifted slightly towards, well, maybe being a mom is not such a bad idea.

Dating a younger guy means revisiting that fear of commitment. And because he is in that time, where playing the field is much more appealing than settling down, you might scare him with any idea of children or family life in the near future. Again, this goes back to needing to communicate. Both of you need to be honest about what you want in the next few years, especially when the two of you get more serious.

Age is a number

Haven’t we all heard that before? I felt the need to say it again, because there is an undying, irrevocable truth in that phrase. Just because you are in your 30s does not mean you necessarily have every part of life in order, nor does that mean your 20-something man will be entirely out of sorts.

What I am trying to say is that he might be more mature than his age suggests, and you might be slightly more wild. In a relationship what truly matters is not when you were born or which generation of iPhone was your first.

What matters is your compatibility. How happy are you together? How trusting are you of one another? Love knows no bounds, so if a number becomes the major hindrance in your relationship, then it is not real love.

More: 7 Life Moments That Make Your Relationship Stronger

With all that said, in the eyes of others your relationship might be considered taboo. If the pressure begins to weigh on you both, talk about it. Again, persisting commitment can override the negative commentary.

Stay true to one another. Linger in your days as a 20-something through him, and give him a taste of the beautiful years that await. Together, you two can maintain a healthy, lasting relationship forever if desired. Just remember to practice your matured sense of patience, give him space, and be ready for an adventure of a lifetime.