Progressing past the dating stage of awkward, yet probing questions of the first few meet-ups means that you now have to unload some serious topics on someone else. Sometimes, you might feel that it is better to hold off on these things, but doing so could hurt you both in the end. Here are the important things to tell your partner when you start dating:
1. Hopes and dreams
Everyone has their personal bucket lists that they hope to one day accomplish. You want to be sure the person you are dating is not going to keep you from living your dreams.
If they do have some issues with you wanting to do a world tour or going it alone for building an enterprise, this could be a sign of codependency, a lack of trustworthiness, or other problems. That, or they could simply have a different idea of “dream.” By discussing what your bucket lists are, you can decide if the relationship is meant to be or will develop to a certain point then fade out.
2. Money and career
Sure, the first date might open with questions like, “So tell me more about what you do for a living.” Now, you two are officially an item, so what might have seemed like an unimportant aspect of this other person’s life is now kind of serious. Because you need to make sure they are capable of supporting themselves, have at least a steady income, and have some financial goals they are working towards (even if that’s just paying off student loans).
If either of you is having money troubles, it may be wise to bring this up to go on budget dates and decide on what you two consider “luxuries.” For example, are they willing to swap Starbucks for a convenience store brew?
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3. Religion and values
A major deal breaker nowadays happens to be when two opposing belief systems meet. It is sad and unfortunate, but if your religions or values are not compatible, then the time is now to discuss it. However, the two of you might also have very similar beliefs tying you together.
On the same note of religion would be values instilled by regional culture, family opinions, and societal norms. One of you might be a hardcore vegan while the other scoffs at plant-based protein. While dating them a few times might be fun, you could soon develop a tension related to having varying views of how to live your lives.
4. Diseases and disorders
This is probably the segment of conversation many people would rather skip over completely. No one wants to come out and say, “Well, I am depressed, plagued by PTSD, and have a disease that turns my liquids to fire whenever I eat gluten…” Can you say buzz kill? Still, it has to be done.
Your partner could potentially be the person you spend the rest of your life with if all goes well, so they need to know from the beginning if you are struggling with anxiety, have emotional scars, diseases, sexually transmitted infections, and any other disorders that could negatively impact your relationship. Do not leave them out in the cold and confused. If they care, they will understand.
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Communication is key when it comes to building a worthwhile relationship with someone who has your heart. That said, opening your heart to them might not be easy, but it is necessary. When you start dating, you need to talk about integral aspects of your life and personality so that you can both decide if you are truly compatible for the long run. Being honest is the start of something special.