We can never predict who is prepared for us by fate but sooner or later you meet your the only one. Sometimes it happens that he already has his own children and you can`t fight those feeling that arise when you see that person. You will face some challenges when starting such relationships but these tips will help you to handle with everything that stands in your way.
1. Things not always go according to a plan
When you start a relationship with a person who has kids you may expect everything unplanned to happen. Your relationships with your partner may be just perfect what you can`t say about the relations with his ex. You can face jealousy, irritability even hate and you are to be ready to handle with it because you can`t avoid the contact. Kids will meet their mother from time to time, or when they get sick the father will sooner call to her but not to you as she is their mother. So be wise and find a compromise there is nothing that can`t be fixed up.
2. Your family and friends might not understand
When your friends and family members get to know that you are dating with someone who has children they will ask you a million questions. You may also face some misunderstanding from their time. But heart does not obey orders so the children are never to be an obstacle to your relations. As for your nearest and dearest, they will soon get used to it and everything will be just fine. Though some people might not come round so you are to deal with it.
3. Love them as if your own
This is probably the most important thing in such kind of a relationship especially if you have your own children as well. Kids are very sensitive and they will feel your attitude no matter how well you try to conceal it. Treat your own kids and your partner`s identically and this will set respectful and strong relationships between the members of your family.
4. Be committed
Think twice and only then make up the decision. The relationships in blended families are always complicated and problematic so if you make up your mind to step in one you have to stick to it. Don`t play games with it and be ready to fight for your new family and be always on their side.
5. The kids may not sympathize with you at once
You are to be ready to face even some aggressive treatment to you from kids at first. No matter what the situation between their father and mother was, children tend to think a new woman to be the reason why their parents are not together any more. So be patient. They are kids and they will always dream of their parents being together again. With time they will get the situation and change the attitude to you. Time will put everything in their places and you might become really good friends with the course of time.
6. Step up
Sooner or later you will have to step up and offer your help with the children. Such little things like to bring or pick up from school, prepare dinner or help with the home tasks seem to be trifles but they are very important in the day-to-day life of your new family. When your partner is busy at work and lacks time to do everything himself, offer your help. He will understand that you care for him and the kids, as well as you will have an opportunity to get closer with the children and get in contact with them.
7. Say no to jealousy
In most cases jealousy of one of the partners becomes the reason for quarrels. Remember that contacts between your partner and his ex are inevitable because of the kids and it is natural. But there are to be some boundaries set up as she can`t call your partner late at night or every time something breaks down. Although his ex might be trying to ruin his new relationships and make him come back don`t blame your partner but have a serious conversation about it.
Starting a blended family is never easy but it is very rewarding. There is nothing to be afraid of – you can always talk about it. Did you have an experience in such relationships? Was it a success?