“You have a match!” Your heart races and you eagerly open up the Tinder app. This time, you tell yourself, it is going to be different. Still, even though you have gotten a match, the person is not responding. Even after you try to make the initial contact, nothing ever comes from it.
So, what gives? Are they ignoring you? Did they die in some freak accident? Or was something suddenly very unappealing about you? There are a lot of misconceptions and theories that can send your thoughts spiraling out of control. Let us get to the bottom of this.
1. The other person is busy
Simple. You have to understand that when you get a match with that individual, someone else has to. Tinder is a dating app, after all.
That other person is not just balancing a conversation with you and several others, they are going to work, cleaning the house, meeting with friends, and dealing with life-in-general responsibilities. Cut them some slack.
Then, when you answer one message or spend too much time using the app, you get blasted by a bunch of questions, greetings, and other nonsense. By the time you finish catching up with unread messages, you have several new ones. Now, this may or may not apply to you, but just remember – a dating app can be overwhelming.
2. Red flags are flying
Generally, the people on Tinder are those who have suffered from failed relationships in the past (we all have). Still, people will know when you are lying, despite a convincing profile, when you are being too clingy, too confusing, or even too secretive.
Those who are interested can potentially see things in your photographs they do not like and decide to back off. Do not let it get to you. Sometimes, you may just remind them too much of someone from the past.
3. You asked boring questions
Just like getting the interest of your high school crush, Tinder goes way beyond the tedious questions of “Hey, what are you doing?” or “How is the weather where you are from?”
These questions seem innocent enough, but have they ever gotten much of a conversation going for you in real life? Probably not. So be engaging. Stop asking about how work was and start trying to develop a connection through more stimulating discussion.
For example, “What are your thoughts on pancakes?”
4. Useless, droll details
Look, people who are trying to find a soulmate will worry about the uninteresting stuff later. Right now, you are trying to woo someone. There is a need for intrigue and subtle mystery. You want them to think about you.
Keep them on their toes with comebacks that make your personality and your life seem interesting. Even if you work a 9 to 5, talk about what makes you happy, what drives you, and your hobbies.
5. Lack of maturity
I do not know about you, but when I am on a dating app, there are two things I prefer: stimulating conversation and a level of respectable maturity. Knock it off with the adolescent abbreviations, an overflow of emojis, and horrendous spelling and grammar.
You are trying to communicate…like an adult. Too many errors or winks will make the other person raise an eyebrow and ask themselves, “Are they still in high school?”
The next time a match arrives in your inbox, remember this advice. Treat this encounter as you would any potential suitor – intelligently, genuinely, and patiently.
You may not be the only match this person received, but you can stick out and get that date if you play the game correctly. Good luck, and keep on swiping.