4 Steps to Overcoming Your Commitment Issues


Do you have a commitment phobia? Does the idea of being with one person or making compromises or taking the risk of having someone rely on you send a shiver down your spine? Trust me, getting over your commitment issues is not going to be something that magically happens with the wave of a wand. No, it takes time – and that means making the choice to stick to your goals.

That is the very essence of commitment; and sadly, if you cannot commit to an idea, you will never achieve greatness. If you cannot commit to a person, you will never have a fulfilling relationship. So are you ready to get over your fears and embrace a new you? Here is how to overcome your commitment issues once and for all:

Table of contents:

  1. Stop lying
  2. Take risks
  3. Realize your potential
  4. Find the right people

1. Stop lying

Seriously. Stop it. Stop lying to people and yourself. Commitment issues stem from the inability to be comfortable with being perceived as wrong or unfair.

You want everyone and everything to be in equilibrium, so you automatically say yes to phone numbers, to potential dinner dates, and to projects that you do not want. However, to say yes and then not follow through is poison to both you and those around you. You will begin to perceive yourself as unreliable because you fear what would happen if you follow through.

You fear the need to compromise on things you may not like talking about. Guess what? That is life. So face your fears. Be honest with your emotions, even if it means telling someone no.

Also, if you feel suffocated by the expectations placed on you, stop telling yourself you have to meet those expectations. This is another form of deception. Your subconscious is steering away from commitment, because you may not know how to handle the pressure.

More: It Is Okay to Not Be Full of Passion

2. Take risks

Commitment to a goal or a person is not something you sleep on or put off for later. Sticking to where you are comfortable – not answering others and not making any drastic changes – is not the way you want to spend the rest of your days. Believe it or not, you need to take risks once in a while. Commitment is indeed a risk because you are sticking with something despite the potential failure that could ensure.

Still, committing to the goal could lead you to new opportunities. Committing to a person could teach you more about yourself. Committing to a new habit could help you undo some negative ones. Remember, you have to commit to greatness to be triumphant.

3. Realize your potential

Everyone has it in them to commit. Even you, no matter how damaged, broken, or flaky you may make yourself out to be. Deep inside you is an innate power that, when unleashed, will give you all the confidence needed for commitment.

Sometimes, all it takes is dabbling in your passions and hobbies to give you the self-esteem you need to face your fears. Choose one thing you will not judge yourself over then commit to doing that feel-good thing every day. When you start to develop this personal practice, you can rewrite how your subconscious feels about commitment.

From there, you can start building yourself up for bigger, more valiant undertakings. Begin to embrace bigger challenges. Climb higher peaks.

4. Find the right people

If you do the three previous things and find that your commitment issues are not getting any easy to deal with, consider how your inner circle of relationships could be affecting you. Look at your friends and think about the relationships they have been in.

Are those couples healthy and happy? Is there endless bickering? Brutal break-ups? Lies? Deceit?

This means spending time with friends in honest, pure, loving relationships. See the benefits these people have gained from committing to one another and apply those benefits to yourself. What can you gain from commitment? You may be surprised.

More: How to Stop Feeling Insecure in Your Relationship

Getting over your commitment issues is not going to be easy. However, the journey is worth it in the end. You will feel so much more confident and optimistic when you stop lying to yourself and embrace the challenge. Keep your chin up, be driven, and never stop reaching for the stars.