7 Rules to Follow to Become a Better Conversationalist


Even if you are not much of a talker you can still become a better conversationalist. I don’t like small talks and hate it when someone talks to me about the weather, unless it’s really remarkable. Though I’m not a big fan of a long conversation, sometimes I find myself in situations with no way out. That’s why I decided to start to test out some ways to become a better conversationalist and here are 7 essential rules you should follow if you want to become a good conversationalist.

1. Remember their name

This is the most difficult thing for me to remember. Really, I can remember someone’s face but it’s so difficult for me to remember their name. If you are anything like me, you should definitely try this trick to remember a person’s name. When a person tells you their name, make sure you say it back to them. When you talk to them, say their name a few times. If you chat with them online, use their name every time you write a message.

2. Become a great listener

When you are a good listener, you are a good conversationalist. Many people like to talk about themselves so make it a point to listen to them. If you hear something interesting that you can learn more about, make sure you ask them a question or two and this will help build on the conversation. You should not just hear them, you should listen to what they are saying to you and be interested in your conversation.

3. Ask questions

If you don’t want your conversation to sound like an interrogation or interview, ask open-ended questions to keep the conversation going. If you are not used to conversing, this will definitely take some practice, but practice makes perfect! For instance, you’re talking with a person and they mention their husband/wife. This is a great time to ask them how they met. Or, ask them about their kids.

More: 7 Creative Ways to Avoid Awkward Silences

4. Use your body language

If you find yourself in the middle of the conversation and you can’t find the words, then don’t worry and use your body language. It may be difficult, but try to make eye contact when someone is speaking to you. For me, eye contact is a sure sign that a person is attentive and interested in what I’m talking about. Also don’t forget to smile, of course, when it is appropriate. When a person tells you something they look for signals from you that you’re on the right track. A nice smile can perpetuate the conversation even further.

5. Be attentive

When speaking to someone, be sure to notice what they’re wearing, whether they have an accent or something that sets this person apart as an individual. It may seem weird at first, but these are good entry points for you to ask questions and improve the conversation.

6. Be honest

I really enjoy and appreciate an honest conversation, it’s so refreshing. When someone asks how you’re doing, don’t be afraid to tell the truth. This may lead to a frank conversation. If a person is honest with you, then you can share something about yourself. Being honest is a great way to become a better conversationalist. But make sure you think before you speak.

More: 8 Reasons Why Lying Is a Bad Idea

7. Connect the dots

Now when you know more about the person you’re conversing with, you need to find a good way to connect the dots. For instance, if you’re talking about school, then speak about their plans for this summer. If you find out that you have something in common, then you may connect the dot to yourself.

I like meeting new people and these tricks help me to become a better conversationalist. Hope they will help you too! Do you have any other tips to become a better conversationalist? How do you feel about talking to new people? Please comment below and thanks for reading.