Everyone keeps telling us to ignore and avoid toxic people but what to do when you have to communicate with a negative person on a daily basis? Be it your roommate or coworker, you can’t just leave a job or find another place to live. Someone does not like you while you hate another person. That’s the world we live in, so why not treat each other with respect?
This is the easiest way to simplify your lifestyle and reduce your stress levels. No one is perfect, after all. I spent three years trying to change my ex because I actually didn’t like him (well, I have no idea why I dated him), rather than focusing on my personal growth and needs. Do not try to change those you hate, here are some clever ways to deal with them without hurting your identity.
Table of contents:
- Accept their point of view
- Realize that everyone is difficult in their own way
- Do not set too high expectations about them
- Let them know how you feel
- Focus on your life
1. Accept their point of view
Just because you do not agree with their point of view does not mean that you are right too. Spending hours proving they wrong is not only a waste of time and effort but also a self-destructive habit. We are all different.
The more people, the more opinions. Even if you do not support their point of view, just accept it. You do not show your weakness. You show your high level of intelligence.
2. Realize that everyone is difficult in their own way
If you have trouble interacting with a certain person, think about someone who has trouble interacting with you either. Disagreements, conflicts, and disputes are the results of differences in values.
You may not understand the person you do not like, but it does not mean they are as bad as you think. It means that both of you are difficult in your own ways. You have different opinions, values, and beliefs that prevent the two of you from getting along with each other.
3. Do not set too high expectations about them
This usually happens in love relationships, but it turns out we face the same problem in our everyday lives. If you have no idea how to deal with people you literally hate, start with yourself. Do you expect them to behave, think and speak the way you would? Do you feel disappointed and irritated when they do the things you would never do?
Remember they are not you. Every person has the choice to live life as they wish and no one has the right to disagree. Stop setting too high expectations about those you do not like. Just accept them the way they are.
Avoid discussing the topics you know will make you angry. Whether it is your family member, coworker, or neighbor, you can’t just say goodbye to them. Cultivating a better attitude about them is a perfect way out. Sometimes it is okay to give in unless it affects your self-esteem.
4. Let them know how you feel
Although it is better to remain silent in complicated situations, speaking up is essential too. People that you do not like should know that their communication style, behavior, or manners make you feel undervalued and disrespected, and affect your productivity level. Be kind and polite.
Do not respond when you are angry or stressed. Take a few minutes to calm down and clear your mind from insulting words and negative thoughts. If you are rude to them, they will be rude to you too. The problem will never be solved then.
5. Focus on your life
Since you have no power to change the person, just stop focusing on the way they live their life. You have your own life that you need to improve all the time. You have your owns flaws, failures win, and problems. Focus on them.
Instead of thinking about the annoying habits that person possesses, focus on why you are behaving the way you are. When you are busy with your own life, you do not notice others. It is a much better way to deal with those you hate than just ignoring them.
Oftentimes, we have no choice when it comes to the people we have to interact with on a daily basis. It is all about your attitude, not them. Keep your distance from people who make you feel angry or depressed. It does not mean ignoring them, though.
Just aim to communicate with them, for instance, 30 minutes a day, and no more. Most importantly, imagine how people who do not like you tolerate you and it would be easier for you to handle those you hate. How do you tolerate people who bother you?