It is time to talk about getting down and dirty, knocking boots, and hanky-panky. Speaking out your sex life to certain people may seem like either an excellent or terrible idea, depending on your own personal views about the whole act.
Yet, there is no denying that discussion about your sex life is actually healthy, especially when you are connecting to certain people about it. Others, though, should be avoided at all costs when the topic of what goes on between the sheets comes up.
Here are the three best people you can discuss your sex life with and those to avoid:
1. Your current partner
Communication is the best part of having a loving relationship because you can talk about everything with this other individual, regardless of the subject matter. So why is it then that you feel strained about talking to your significant other about sex, even though you are actively engaged in it?
There was a study early 2015 published by the Journal of Sexual Medicine that found 30% of women never said anything to their partner about pain during sex, which broaches the question: what else aren’t you saying?
Simply put, if you have a hard time talking to your partner about what is normal, what feels good, and what you want, then you probably are going to have a difficult time opening up to even your most trusted friend about sex. So, get talking.
2. Your best friend
For those whose best friend is not their significant other, this is one human being you can confide in without ever being judged. Sometimes your BFF is a source of pure sexual enlightenment because they genuinely want to hear what you need to say, even if they may laugh at your sexual malfunctions or questions first.
Of course, you should always feel out your best friend first to make sure they are comfortable…but if you’ve known each other for a long while, you will know their views about talking sex.
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3. The lady friends
Sex in the City got one thing wrong. You really do not discuss penis size over brunch at a café, nor do you share the pictures you snapped of your partner’s O-face. But there is no reason not to unless you really are in a crowded restaurant.
In private, if you have questions or concerns, it is always okay to “ask for a friend,” and bounce ideas off your lady friends. Sharing information with the girls can be helpful because you can bounce ideas off one another to see what is normal or what should be a cause for concern.
Though asking a coworker over lunch break if they know where to pick up a vibrator after work shouldn’t cause any issues, trusting in your coworkers can be a serious gamble. Do you really want to put your sex life out there to someone who is competing with you for attention, a raise, or promotion? If they get ammunition about what you like in bed or whatnot, that could potentially be used as blackmail.
5. The (potential) in-laws
Though asking your parents about sex is fine, depending on the subject matter, no matter how hard your partner’s family prods, do not give them fuel. It is not wise until you know what kind of relationship you are going to have with them. Some just want the both of you to be happy and healthy. But there is the off chance of a monster parent that will ruin your relationship as soon as possible.
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6. Your child(ren)
I only put this because, look, no matter how mature your kid is, they do not want to hear about how many trysts you were in at their age or if you have done anything particularly wild. You are their parent. Putting images in their head of you as anything else could damage the effect of the “birds and bees talk.” You are allowed to be human, but you need to be a role model too.
Talk about sex to those who will not judge you for your questions. Those people would be the person you are actively having sex with, your best friend, and your close circle of lady friends.
These people will be the least judgment and open to the discussion because they will feel as comfortable giving responses as you should be asking questions, and vice versa. Just remember, sex is normal, so talking about it should be as easy as asking for pie.