Family Issues: The Burden of Being the Oldest Child


Dealing with unreasonable siblings is one of the hardest things to do while living a family life, especially for the oldest child of the family. Having to take the pressure of keeping everything and everyone in order at home can be a tense and sometimes depressing experience. Here are a few tips on understanding how the oldest child of the family feels while trying to control a situation in which there can be no control without a parent’s help.


All children, whether alone or surrounded by brothers and sisters, tend to reach an age when they should be responsible for themselves and perhaps for others. There are times when children can’t handle the pressure that they are burdened with by their parents, and most of the time, this causes problems because parents don’t understand what is troubling their child. The key to working out all problems, not only family issues, is communication.

Poor communication

In these modern times, parents may be too busy to talk to their children, or they may simply not know what to say, but talking and trying to understand the feelings of your child is definitely worth the time and the tension of the conversation. It will help understand the emotions your child is going through, and it may also decrease the awkwardness of future conversations.


In most cases, the oldest child is usually blamed, because he or she is believed to have the most common sense to deal with and solve certain situations, yet can’t, obviously due to inexperience and also due to the need and lack of guidance. Parents need to be able to sit down and talk about everything with their children, especially the issues and their possible solutions. This may be a difficult thing to do, but it will make your family a happy place to be around.

More: 8 Ways to Stop a Child’s Temper Tantrum in 5-10 Seconds (or less)

The absence of parental guidance

Parents also need to be there for their children. The absence of parental guidance is what causes issues, and that is why parents need to be around and guide their children while they are young and can be taught to do the right thing. Helping the oldest child in the family may be the key to solving most problems, because that way, when you may not be around to watch and guide certain behavior, the oldest child may take charge in a beneficial way. Parents must understand that the oldest child has tough times that need to be gotten through together, and the more guidance, the better.

The hidden feelings

Another cause of misunderstood emotions or actions may be due to the fact that children are sometimes afraid to release their feelings to people who may be helpful. This is why parents need to encourage conversations about emotions and thoughts; everybody feels better after they let everything out into the open, because keeping it inside will definitely not cause any changes, and may even make things worse. The oldest child in family may think that they don’t have the right to speak up and you, as a parent, should explain to your child that it’s okay to express their feelings and emotions but in a proper way.

The oldest child of the family should have a shoulder to lean on in the family no matter how good or bad the situation is, and parents are deeply encouraged to allow their children to talk about feelings, and possibly to make a change in the environment, which will make the child’s life an easier and happier place to be in. Are you the oldest child in your family? What kind of issues have you faced?