Dealing with Pick-up Artists, Sirens and Serial Charmers


Pick-up artists – both the male and female variety are invariably charming and consummate manipulators. They should be, they’ve had lots of practice at it with people like you. Usually, they just want to seduce you, use you or play with your heart for the sheer exhilaration and hell of it, but things can get worse. If you’re particularly unlucky, they’ll make off with your money, your possessions and your reputation as well! They mask their intentions by creating a mood of comfort and pleasure so that you feel so much better about yourself. They give you the impression that they understand your problems and feel your pain, adapting effortlessly to your moods and body language.

Their method is simple: the male variety – the rake or the charmer tends to deflect attention from themselves and focus all their attention on you; and the female of the species – the siren captivates men with her appearance, her manner and her availability. She listens intently to you as you tell her all about yourself and your desires. You will discover, too late, that you know little about her because you have been talking about you. As Benjamin Disraeli said, ‘Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours’ The same applies to women.

No man can resist having his ego massaged and every woman enjoys being charmed by a genuine admirer, but if your pick-up appears to have an immediate connection with you and seems too good to be true, he or she probably is! Beware of the person who is so relaxed and generous with their compliments that you feel you want to tell them everything about you, particularly if they scan the room from time to time while talking to you. Don’t accept drinks or favors from would-be seducers like this or offer them anything at all yourself unless you are willing to fall prey to their illusionist charms.

Many otherwise intelligent men and women overstate their ability to handle just such a situation. A couple of extra drinks can tilt the balance of control away from you, rendering you vulnerable. Keep all personal information to yourself and make it very clear that you are not interested. Be direct and blunt if necessary, turning or walking away if all else fails. If you allow yourself to be taken in, enchanted and disarmed by their magic, don’t be surprised when your heart is left dangling like a puppet on a string while they give someone else the treatment a few days, weeks, months, or years down the line.