“Tomorrow is Thanksgiving! It’s the day you forget about all the fighting and division in the world and just focus on all the fighting and division in your family.”
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Jimmy Fallon
“Thanksgiving. It’s like we didn’t even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that everyday!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?’”
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Erma Bombeck
"Sometimes pizza night is more than enough."
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Ocean Vuong
“Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too much.”
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Johnny Carson
“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.”
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Kevin James
“The average time for eating a Thanksgiving dinner is 12 minutes, which, incidentally, coincides with halftime.”
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Erma Bombeck
“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.”
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Irv Kupcinet
“I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.”
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Stephen Colbert
“I can’t cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal, maybe toast.”
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Charlie Brown, “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving”
“Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.”