10 funny Thanksgiving quotes

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“Tomorrow is Thanksgiving!  It’s the day you forget about all the fighting and division  in the world and just focus on all the fighting and division  in your family.”

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Jimmy Fallon

“Thanksgiving. It’s like we didn’t even try  to come up with a tradition.  The tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that everyday!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?’”

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Erma Bombeck

"Sometimes pizza night is more than enough."

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Ocean Vuong

“Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles  to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover  once a year is  way too much.”

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Johnny Carson

“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.”

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Kevin James

“The average time for eating a Thanksgiving dinner is 12 minutes, which, incidentally, coincides with halftime.”

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Erma Bombeck

“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.”

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Irv Kupcinet

“I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie and  saying the magic phrase that sends  your aunt storming  out of the dining room to sit in her car.”

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Stephen Colbert

“I can’t cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal, maybe toast.”

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Charlie Brown,  “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving”

“Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.”

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Michael Dresser