The fiercely independent you are a force that no one sees coming. You have taken control of your life and you mesmerize the onlookers with your warrior spirit. Yet, you walk this world alone.
Why is it that beautiful and smart women can’t find boyfriends? Turns out, there are a number of reasons, some having to do with the male psyche, and others brought on by yourself.
Table of contents:
- You do not trust their intentions
- No one expects you to be single
- Your intelligence makes them insecure
- Only jerks have the confidence to talk to you
- Fearful of the unknown
1. You do not trust their intentions
Beautiful and smart girls are inspiring for two reasons: you do not take lip from anyone, and you do not easily trust those who come on too strongly. Let’s face it, you have been around the field more than once when it comes to dealing with other people. You know when someone is looking at your body and not your mind. You know when you might get played.
Guess what? Men sense that. They can see the question of, “Are you just a f***boy?” in your eyes. Because you anticipate that all men who approach you are merely after your looks, you rarely, if ever, give anyone a chance to see the beauty of your mind. That amount of distrust is hard to hide.
2. No one expects you to be single
I know I often get this question and response: “Do you have a boyfriend? No? Why not? You are so pretty and smart!” Well, gee, thanks, I guess. But this happens so often that it got me thinking: what if I never get approached because all the potential suitors already think I am spoken for?
Granted, this usually is not the scenario that unfolds at the club or on a park bench but with people you have known for a while. Perhaps, even someone you are interested in is among the group that thinks, “She is too amazing to not have someone… and that someone is not me.” Unfortunately, you have to get creative with how you want to tackle this misunderstanding. I doubt simply dropping hints like, “I am single, by the way,” during conversations is going to look fishy.
More: When You Are the Girl Who Is Difficult to Love
3. Your intelligence makes them insecure
There has been some interesting research about how men like the idea of smart women but prefer dating those who are not as smart as they are. The reason is this: they might not be able to compete with you. In a world that puts importance on the man’s role in generic heterosexual relationships, the man who is not the breadwinner, so to speak, is not really a man.
Now, do you, the smart lass you are, put much emphasis on that? Probably not. But to the man who puts a value on his masculinity, being “out-manned” by a woman is just too much to handle.
4. Only jerks have the confidence to talk to you
Branching off of the previous node, where insecure men will not approach you, those who see you as something to overpower and subdue are probably those who pour attention onto you. The typical jerk sees your power and tries to prove he is better by sticking his nose where it does not belong. Unfortunately, smart and beautiful girls seem to be magnets for toxic men who are dying to prove they are better.
5. Fearful of the unknown
For most people, what is not understood is scary. Men generally do not understand women. Men certainly do not understand women who are well-read, extremely educated, and in tune with the world around them.
Shallower mines are easier to understand. Thus, when you think deeply, you become something almost mythical in their eyes. You become something that scares them away.
More: This Is How I Really Feel About Living Alone
I do not know about you, but I say be beautiful. Be smart. Be confident. It should not matter whether or not you can’t find a boyfriend right now.
What matters is whether or not you are happy. Do not let anyone dull your intelligence or make you feel unwanted simply because they do not understand you. The right man will come in time.1