6. No Resentments
Too many feelings of resentment can be disastrous for a marriage. Most couples say hurtful things to each other at some point, and we all make mistakes. Hence there will be times when your spouse’s behavior makes you angry. If you feel angry at your spouse, find a positive way to express the irritation you feel. Once you have expressed the anger, put the incident behind you. Bottling up anger is not good for relationships, and storing up little grudges as ammunition for future arguments is unfair.
7. Doing much more for the family
Do you feel you’re doing much more for the family than your spouse? Remember, there’s absolutely no reason to compare yourself against your partner, or compete on any level with a spouse. Such contrasts only serve to magnify differences and widen the cracks in your already strained relationship. Does it really matter who is more tired, or makes more money? Both of you deserve a break. So focus instead on exploring ways to support each other in a way that benefits both.
8. Immediate arguing
Do you immediately start arguing with your partner whenever something makes you angry or upset? The feelings and emotions behind them are often more important than the actual words that were spoken. How strange it is that we teach our children to count to ten before they speak, but don’t think about practicing it in our own interactions as adults! When you pause to do so, you’ll realize that what happened wasn’t really such a big deal to you. This will stop you from saying something that might wound or hurt your spouse. Most bickering stops instantly when you get a slightly different perspective on these vexing issues by just being a little more patient.
9. Using excuses
Are you using excuses to justify your mistakes? Some people keep rationalizing their actions by saying things like “I can’t help it” or “That’s just the way I am”. Well, there’s a fine line between retaining your personality and using such justification for inadequate social skills, especially when it comes to interactions with your marital partner. You can change in a subtle way without compromising on your innate character, and that begins with taking responsibility for your actions and refusing to blame the way you were brought up, or have been all through your life.
Marriages like this are on the fast track towards a crisis. Almost invariably, a divorce looms large somewhere in the future. But all is not lost. It is still possible to turn things around with some determination and disciplined effort. It’s time to ask yourself some tough questions.
Making a commitment to change is difficult. But it is not impossible. In the ultimate analysis, what governs your choice is the priority you place on salvaging your marriage and how keen you are to save the dying relationship.