I believe each person can teach us many valuable things. I’m still grateful for those things my exes taught me about relationships, but my boyfriend is a truly unique person. I can’t say that he is super smart, confident or assertive. He’s a bit shy and introverted, yet he’s able to teach anyone a number of important things. Here’s what he already taught me about relationships:
1. Stubbornness shows stupidness
I was unbearably stubborn when I met my boyfriend. Actually, I’m stubborn since my childhood. When I was a child, my parents never told me how stubborn I was, so I thought it was normal. My exes believed my stubbornness was my trump card and my coworkers ignored this trait at all. My boyfriend was the first person who told me that stubbornness was an empty emotion.
I took wrong decisions and refused to listen to any advice because of my stubbornness. I failed to solve any kind of relationship problems because of my stubbornness. He’s never reproached me, yelled at me and hurt me. Once he told me, “Stubbornness solves nothing. It causes new problems instead.” Since then I think stubbornness shows stupidness.
2. Love yourself first
“When you are in a relationship, you shouldn’t forget to love yourself.” This is what my partner once told. “Caring for a partner and kids is a must, but don’t lose yourself.” These are his words too. Loving yourself doesn’t mean being selfish, it means to remember and follow your dreams and be happy.
3. Peace is a priority
Every conflict can be solved in a peaceful way. This is what I’ve learnt from my boyfriend. I really forget about fights, broken plates and dishes, and midnight crying. I’m hot-tempered, therefore I can’t keep silent when I don’t like something. My boyfriend has taught me that sometimes it’s best to remain silent than to say a word.
Typically when I yell and cry, my boyfriend keeps silent and listens to me without all those I-hate-you and I’m-sick-and-tired-of-you face expressions. He is calm and attentive. When I’m done, he tells me his point of view, and believe it or not, I have nothing to say then. I’m trying to control my temper when my boyfriend and I run into relationship issues.
Every time I face a problem and ask my boyfriend to help me. He doesn’t solve a problem and doesn’t make any decisions for me. He gives me some pieces of advice and that’s it. He tells me that I need to learn to take all the decisions myself. This is a precious lesson. I’m the only one who’s responsible for my choices and decisions. Couples should take decisions together but there are situations where independency is required.
Before I met my boyfriend, I’d been in an abusive relationship for over 3 years. The word ‘freedom’ was strange and unknown to me. I couldn’t go out without permission and could do anything without approval. My ex is cruel. Thankfully, my current boyfriend treats women with respect. He taught me that freedom is priceless. I’m not a slave.
Whenever I want to enjoy me time or spend a night with friends dancing and drinking, he never minds. He gives me that freedom and I do the same. We trust each other and it helps us to keep our relationship strong and happy.
My partner isn’t perfect. He has many flaws, like we all do. However, we teach each other new things and want to build a happy, long-term relationship. We’re trying to remove the negativity and master as many positive habits as possible. We don’t strive for perfection. We strive for happiness. What did you learn from your exes and current boyfriend/husband?