If you are going to tie the knot soon, you need to know some of the worst mistakes most new wives make that can ruin a marriage. It may seem these mistakes are not so serious and they couldn’t affect your marriage, but they actually can. Avoid the following mistakes to have a happy and solid marriage.
1. Saying insulting things
Even if you didn’t argue with your sweetheart before marriage, you’re going to fight after tying the knot. When you do, make sure you don’t say insulting things that you would not have said before marriage. I always recollect my parents’ behavior in such cases – for more than 20 years of marriage they didn’t use a single offensive word to each other. And I consider such relations to be a role-model. If you have a violate quarrel with your man, tell him what exactly made you angry. However, don’t use insulting words no matter how angry you are. They will be especially offensive if you touch upon his weak points that you have already learnt. This is a sure way to ruin your relationship. Plus, he would definitely not appreciate such changes after getting married. I would advise you to nip this tendency in bud. Just imagine that your lover says offensive things to you. I think you would hardly forgive him. He feels the same when you do it. Sure, you can apologize later, but you can’t take your offensive words back. And even your regret couldn’t help the situation. Always think twice before saying something. Remember, that one day your insults could be the last drop.
2. Taking out the trash
Perhaps it sounds silly, but this little thing can cause lots of problems in your marriage. Do you want to take the trash out all the time? Don’t do it. Let your husband take out trash, he might do it without fights. For example, I like to leave little funny messages on the fridge if I want to remind my sweetheart something important. A funny sentence on a pink piece of paper cannot irritate anybody. And it works! The main point here is the way you formulate the sentence. Try to avoid categorical forms and use loving words and smileys instead. Another way to solve the problem is to establish a schedule. Take turns in this duty and nobody will get offended. In any case, don’t slam the door, don’t break cups or blackmail! If you want to have a strong and happy family, you shouldn’t get angry at trifles.
Think logically, if you cannot agree on this childish thing, what will happen when more serious issues arise? Develop a habit of taking out a trash each morning when you go to work. Just put the pack by the door. Be sure, he won’t forget to take it. This simple tip will help to make your family life a bit easier.
Just because you tied the knot doesn’t mean you should stop flirting. If you do it, the magic of love will begin disappearing. Most wives believe they don’t have to keep things fun when they are married, but they’re mistaken. I love sending flirty texts to my hubby and flirting with him after work. This helps to keep things fresh between us.
Another way to refresh your feelings is dating. Do you remember when you went out last time? Was it shopping? Trust me, a date is a great chance to remember the beginning of your relationship. Your date will become even more interesting if you get ready for it separately from your sweetheart. If you have children, get a baby sitter or ask your parents to look after them for one evening, so that you can relax and concentrate on each other.
I’m also crazy about little cute presents and surprises! They are very effective if I want to apologize for a little squabble. When my hubby and I want to go through our memories again, we start watching our vacation videos, wedding photos and telling old stories to each other. I am always surprised at how our feelings rekindle with new force. Make use of these tips to refresh your own relationship.
4. Taking over chores
Taking over all of the chores, including the finances, is another mistake almost every new wife makes. At the beginning of the marriage, both of you will think that it’s great when a wife takes over the finances, but it will actually wear on you later. Try to make decisions together. Moreover, it can be offensive for him as a man when you take care of everything by yourself. It can lead to his indifference and irresponsibility. And you will soon blame him for unconcern. Here are some rules that exist in my family. Budget is an important aspect of any family. That’s why we think together how to spend money regarding our priorities. The next activity we share is household duties. From the very beginning we used to do everything together. For instance, when I cook dinner, my husband puts everything in order. Or, when he goes shopping, I clean the house.
Read also – When we moved in a new flat, it required certain repairs. You won’t believe, but this common activity was such a fun! I didn’t even think it was a hard work. Moreover, common activity is a very good way to refresh your feelings. Teach each other your hobbies and the results will be amazing.
5. Disliking his family
It’s really one of the worst mistakes a new wife can make. There is no sense to dislike his family since they are the people who brought up your spouse. Only due to them he is the man you fell in love with. Only due to them he has such a character, manners and life views. If you love him, learn to respect his family.
Don’t make an enemy of your husband’s mom, dad, his sibling or his best friend. Remember, he loves his family as well as his friends and even though he might side with you if there’s a conflict, you must avoid making this mistake. Moreover, do not try to limit the time he intends to spend with them. They are an important part of his life, thus you have no moral right to forbid him to see his family. To defuse tension, invite your own parents. In such a big company, your chances to have a conflict with his mother are minimal.
Be kind and polite to his family and try to love them all. They will definitely love you and appreciate you for it. Moreover, you can find much in common with his mom. They say that men get married to women who resemble them their moms. So, why not make use of it?
6. Begrudging your husband time with friends
I know you want to spend more time with your sweetheart as a new wife, but don’t begrudge him time with his buddies. It’s important that you spend quality time together, but you should also spend some time with your friends. I always try not to dissolve in my relations. Even being married, you should have some private space. When your husband goes out, just make plans of your own and have fun too. I like to use this time for my skin and body treatment. When I am alone at home nobody bothers me or mocks at my green face with cucumber mask. When my husband spend time with his friends, I can accomplish those procedures that I don’t want him to observe. For example, it’s a great time for waxing, applying masks, manicure and pedicure or dyeing my hair. Only imagine, he comes back home and sees you refreshed, beautiful and charming. As a variant, I use this time to visit my parents and meet my friends.
I know, it sounds weird, but other people only enrich your life and help to keep relationship stronger. You will have more topics to discuss and to lough at. It’s always a great idea to take a break in your own communication. Thus, the next time that he makes an appointment with his buddies, wish him to have lots of fun.
7. Forgetting about your friends
When it comes to friends, a marriage is not a reason to give up your close friends. You need them and they need you. I had a close friend who forgot about our friendship after she got married. Now, when she is in the process of divorce, she calls me and wants to be my best friend again, but I actually don’t want to have such friend though I wish you all the best. Do not make such an irreparable mistake and try to remember when you meet your friends last time. I think it’s high time to call them. If your friends are also married, you will have much in common. It’s so cool to discuss your husbands, secrets of good relations and the changes in your life. Your friends are the people that will help, support and give advice no matter what. Don’t neglect them, they don’t deserve it. I used to meet my close friends once a week. It’s enough to keep in touch and be aware of their lives. Sometimes we have double dates and it is especially funny! So, don’t forget about your friends and make time to see them once in a while.
Now you have it, some of the most common mistakes new wives make. Which of them did you make as a new wife? Do you know any other mistakes new wives make?