Loneliness Isn’t a Cruel Fate, It’s a Choice


Loneliness is a common thing these days and many people complain that they are lonely and unhappy since it’s a cruel fate. However, it’s actually their choice. Hobbies, money and fame can make you happy, but I strongly believe that children, family and closest friends are real treasures. We all need other people and most of us feel awfully lonely because of lack of communication. However, sometimes we feel lonely when we are surrounded by coworkers or even family members. Why? Because we decided to feel lonely. This choice is mostly subconscious and unintended. Let’s try to find out why you feel so lonely in your life.

Bad experience

One of the reasons we often choose loneliness is our desire to protect our feelings. We all have bad experiences with friends, sweetheart or parents, but it doesn’t mean that you should stay away from everyone. This kind of solitude may be both deliberate and unintentional. Sometimes it’s easier to give up people at all in order not to get hurt again. But people are different. There are 7 billion people on earth and the majority of them are kind, well-intentioned and faithful. Just because you’ve been betrayed once doesn’t mean all people are much of a muchness. Don’t hide from people around you, and you will feel much happier and less lonely.

Fear of being rejected

Nowadays most people suffer from low self-esteem and often we are too shy to give a smile to a stranger or start a conversation. We spend a lot of time in front of screens without noticing that we just waste our precious time. Social media won’t help you overcome your loneliness; it can me you feel worse. After all, how can you show others how unique and talented you are, if you don’t meet them in person? You should be proud of your personality, opinion and choices. Yes, finding a good friend or beloved is a trial-end-error process. But it is the only way to get rid of gut-wrenching loneliness. You never know what you get unless you try. Thus, if you want to get to know someone better, do it! Let yourself be vulnerable since it’s a natural human feature. This will help you to fight your fears and live a happier life.

Steep demands

What are you expecting from others? Are you irritated and disappointed at their drawbacks? If you made a list of traits your boyfriend or friends must have, throw away that list right now. I had such a list too and I was one of the loneliest people in the world! I expected too much from my parents, boyfriend and friends, so it’s no wonder they didn’t even want to see me, not to mention that they didn’t want to communicate with me. If you love rules and you strive for perfection, you need to break this bad habit. Understand that we live in far-from perfect world and no one is ideal. You should learn to see the good in people in order to understand that everyone is unique and wonderful in their own way. Let yourself be natural and imperfect; you’ll see that life is much easier than you think and you are not lonely.

More: 8 Worst Habits of Unhappy People and How to Break Them


Yes, you read that right! Many people pretend to be lonely just because they don’t want to do at least something to change the situation. Remember that if you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. But if you don’t, you’ll find an excuse. Be frank with yourself and decide whether you really need more people in your life. If you do, stop whimpering and start acting. You will see that people appreciate your initiative and desire to be closer to them. Don’t let your laziness poison your life.

False priorities

In this hectic, modern world many things, including our priorities, underwent changes. While 40 years ago family and children were above all, now most people are anxious about their professional development, career and money. We spend most time at work and think that money will make us happier. Never, ever money won’t make anyone happy! No matter how much you love your job, don’t make it a priority. Your career won’t help you when you will feel down or get sick. I’m not telling you that you should quit your job. I just want to say that you should set your priorities wisely and don’t forget about your family and friends.

Even though loneliness is your choice, it doesn’t mean loneliness is bad. Every person needs some alone time, especially if you are an introvert. But if your life is plagued by loneliness, follow the aforementioned tips to find out the reason why you feel so lonely. Do you think that loneliness is a person’s choice?