Unless you always stay home socially isolated, you are always surrounded by people. Lots of them. But still you feel lonely and miserable. You are not alone. Millions of people worldwide feel lonely for no reason. Why? It’s a hard question. The only obvious thing is that it all depends on a person. You may lead an active lifestyle, party hard after work, travel around the world, and even be in a happy relationship but you feel so lonely that you don’t know where to run and what to do to get rid of that heartbreaking feeling. Or, you can socially isolate yourself and avoid talking with anyone, even your close friends and parents.
Everyone has moments in life where they feel lonely, but it doesn’t have to be a habit. There’s a big difference between spending alone time and spending all the time alone. In a technology driven world where interacting and over-sharing online is a usual thing, no wonder people start feeling lonely. It’s not the only reason, though. Here’s why you might be feeling lonely in a world full of people.
1. We don’t give people a second chance
After a breakup or a betrayal, we refuse to give people a second chance. Girls think all guys are the same, while guys believe all girls are selfish and cold. We believe in this myth and keep avoiding building any relationship. We feel totally lonely and lost. Giving a second chance isn’t as bad as you think. You may not give that chance a cheater, but please don’t cut all the people out of your life. If it wasn’t the second or even third chances that I’ve received from my partner, I wouldn’t be as happy as I’m today.
2. Set ‘walls’
No pain, no gain. When you don’t let others in your life, of course you feel no pain. But then the feeling of loneliness occurs, causing a lot of pain. Creating impenetrable walls isn’t the smartest way to avoid disappointment, jealousy, betrayal and lie. Your life becomes empty and you have no purpose in life. It all doubles, intensifying your feelings. Keep boundaries instead of creating walls. Let others in your life on your own terms. This way, you will learn how to be sociable without allowing others hurt your feelings.
3. We live in harmony with our fears
It’s a lot easier to live in harmony with your fears than overcome them. If you’re afraid to do something, you avoid a situation where you have to face your fear. Any fear has a power. Girls who are scared of intimacy or feel ashamed of their flaws, refuse to build a relationship for good. They choose loneliness without realizing that this feeling can ruin the whole life. Fall in love with your flaws and face and chase your fears today to feel happier tomorrow.
4. We can’t stand criticism
When you ex keeps telling you how bad you are and what flaws you have, or your boss keeps telling you how stupid you are, the only thing you want to do in such a situation is to isolate yourself from the others and don’t hear anyone and anything. Most of us are guilty of doing this. Is it a healthy way out? No! Learn to embrace criticism and don’t let others talk negatively about you. Remove your ex from your life and quit the job that makes you hate all human beings. There are many wonderful bosses as well as caring and lovely guys and girls who can make your life bright and happy. They will help you forget loneliness for good.
5. We stop staying in touch
It’s easy to get used to being alone. You don’t owe anything to anyone. You don’t have to make lame excuses why you couldn’t go out on a date, or skipped that girl-time or college party. Once you shy away from everyone, they will most likely forget about your existence. While you are dwelling on your flaws and miserable life, they are trying to gain their own happiness. They start living their own life… without you. If you really love someone, stay in touch with them however depressed you are.
6. Money is priority
When checking your Facebook feed, you probably often see something like, “Money can’t buy love, happiness, health and respect.” It’s true. Modern people, though, believe otherwise. They are literally obsessed with money. They ignore the closest people, refuse to start a family and focus on their jobs only. Many researches show workaholism is a number one reason of loneliness. Unfortunately, money rules the world and it will continue ruling until we all eliminate this priority from our lives.
Loneliness is a challenging feeling. But it’s not a cancer – with a little effort you can cure it. Take time to figure out a reason of your loneliness and then try to change the situation even if it will mean leaving your comfort zone and chasing your fears. Seek out people who share common views with you and who are trying to get rid of loneliness too. Do you know exactly why you are so lonely in a world full of people?